Crossed Keys

Cigarette burns

on my lungs

shriveled liver

my pallet is messy

with fermented fruit

back in that place that had no culture

a carrion town, eating life, a vulture

Built around a past-facing sepulchure

Stuck in itself, kneeling before intertia

But this is a new future

I rectify my youth

Devils were slated by time

Same place, different space

We know the symptoms of our illnesses

our town bearing bad fruit

Tenements became testaments

Burning bushes seem quaint

The voices strained

Awareness Rising High

1st class Party Poopers

The traces of the tracks through Thatcher-town

Political discourse is not hopeless

We’re not helpless

Come together and beat all

the Nazis, Tories,

Nasty, selfish fuckers

Help each other

Hope again

Burn bright with luminescence

Write our testaments

Grow new possibilities

and brew our own medicine

The Shadow Rises (I Fall)

Layers of filth

accumulate around me

My skin becomes dirt

my limbs embed in ground.

I can’t be cleansed

it won’t go away

I am being swallowed

I am being buried

I once was human.

I once was whole.

I’ve been broken

into pieces.

I am broken

because I break others

I am not human

I am not human

(I’m still here

I’m still here

I’m still here

I’m still here)

Under the weight of who I am

the weight of what I’ve done

the weight of what I’ve not done

the weight of failure.

(I’m not a bad person

I’m not a bad person

I’m not a bad person

I’m not a bad person)

Compressed into the crust.

I fossilise in this pit.

I turn viscous

and melt into the core.

(I’m trying to fight this

I’m trying to stay alive

I’m trying to stay solid

I’m trying to stay here)

I taint the molten rock

cooling it

to a blackened husk

(I’m not toxic

I’m not cold

I’m not selfish)

I eat light

I eat life

I eat dreams

(I can bring happiness

I can bring joy

I can help)

I swallow the core

grow bigger and multiply

flooding the planet

with my disease

(I can’t hold it all in

It’s taking over

I am becoming

This disease)

The trees die

cancerous beasts roam

the sky falls down

the atmosphere shatters

Everything I touch

turns to dust

It all falls apart

under me

this world is left barren

by my toxic touch

those I love

will suffer for me

I leave this place

twist into space

shut the stars off

all at once

I eat planets

just for fun

The shards of me

splinter off into the void

and all that’s left

is the empty blackness

(I wish…

I wish I’d not begun

to exist

to live

to be known.

to be loved)

Cold War

I’m left feeling cold

by this apparent war.

A crew torn asunder,

yet this thunder

has no storm.

This broken boat

has cap sized

under size large heads.

Kevin and Perry like kids.

Not heaven sent,

no holy smell.

Just spiteful noseless Parkers.

Peter pied pipers pepper pot,

is a kettle

black, tying a knot.

Like a Windsor,

but you’ll never be royals.

Left feeling flushed,

this lush needs soap.

Dope clean bars,

fresh new rhymes,

past times tick away

off the clock.

Facing away from featureless creatures,

with monstrous energies

and beastly vibes.

This beastmode scribe

writes a paper,

an essay.

Viewing your news as spam,

fake.

I’m not on the take.

No corrupt MF transmission

my mission keeps me woke til the AM.

I’ll slay ’em.

Don’t need payin.

Cos it’s not about the money,

but it is about change.

So I’ll resist,

until fuckers desist

and stop.

I’m hammering at heartstrings

and they’ll sing all the notes,

In short,

my hand will write,

my words will fight

and there will be blood

boiling in that kettle

you call black.

Fuck your nettles.

I sting back,

Like a bee.

We could have shared that flower.

but you cross pollinate for power

and you want it absolut(e).

Like Russian vodka.

Gushing like Niagra,

about the fall.

You prats.

Everything you do like a pregnant pause.

Everybody wants to be a cool cat.

But, you’ve left me feeling cold

and that’s that.

demonised

I’m left feeling destructive.

Destroy all things exclusive.

Blow them wide open.

Leave wakes of destruction.

It gets pushed inside.

The bomb goes off, I died,

and a body full of death

grips your hand instead.

The flesh is hot to touch.

Like it’s a living thing.

Don’t press into too much.

Cos I’ll bite and sting.

I wouldn’t destroy you,

So I killed me

and now the monster inside

is totally free.

and you coaxed it out

through the wound in my back.

It’ll scream and shout

You can’t put it back.

Unleashed in my death throes

The beast had rose.

The mark has been made.

It is here to stay,

and you did it,

you brought it here.

All the bullshit,

brings on the fear

and it chews it up.

Uses it as fuel.

Couldn’t shut you up.

You became it’s tool.

You did this.

Round of applause.

You unleashed the demon

for your holy cause.

Pat on the back.

You can’t put it back.

It won’t go back.

My soul turns black.

It’s face burns through my skin.

Mine becomes replaced.

I can’t keep it in, this sin.

Eats you whole for the taste.

Geist

One of my earliest memories is falling down the stairs.

I was convinced it was some ghostly wanker.

Later on, that memory told me it was me,

a shadowy doppelgänger.


Another vivid memory was of my Nan.

After she’d had a stroke, great damage it did incur.

She was barely the woman I’d known.

She was in there, but her body betrayed her.


A few days later,

I fell down the stairs, my head took a blow.

I was convinced that I’d blacked out.

Maybe it was, again, the twin shadow.


I remember swimming on the east coast,

Cromer or Hunstanton.

I remember getting caught up in a wave.

The shadow told me to give in.


As I let the water take me, I saw hands.

My grandfather pulled me from the water.

He’d saved me from drowning.

The shadow swore he’d get me later.


When I split my head open,

he’d laugh at my pain.

When my friend closed a fire door,

he forced my thumb into the frame.


When I put a two pence piece in my mouth,

he told me to swallow it.

When I saw a cousin’s Christmas present,

he made my hands open it.


When I was 13 the entire school called me Hitler

cos I had bumfluff facial hair.

I finally gave into him.

He was going to get his way and I didn’t care.


Thankfully I failed,

but I had let him fully in.

He’s been whispering in my ear,

he’s stalked me ever since.


I was an only child

and he was my secret friend.

But, he was always a part of me

and will be till the end.


The brother I never had,

the false memory.

Didn’t find out til my teens,

It was a lie my dad thought was funny.


He never knew the damage it did,

he thought that I was smart.

But I was so desperate for someone else,

I let a shadow in my heart.


I can’t blame him for the way the shadow

took form in my mind.

My imagination ran away from me

and began to become unkind.


It reflected the way I was treated

by my peers and so called friends.

He never would have expected

Shadow Peter would crave my end.


But now I regard him differently,

I’m much more self aware.

And while I don’t take his advice most of the time

about him I honestly do care.


I try to treat him as the broken, fragile thing he his

and let him talk to me, but not let him take the piss.

Because, he is just the shadow in this third dimension

and I’m the solid body, and I get to choose direction.


So, Peter, I know you’re listening, you fratricidal little cunt.

I love you, you fucking maniac, despite all your shitty stunts.

And I always will until the end of days.

and I thank you for being there with me, even if you are a massive pain.