Hello again

This old, familiar thing,

with it’s chest pounding sting,

infiltrates my mind,

gets under my skin.

It gets into my pores,

inflates my head thrice.

Makes my heart beat

outside my body, christ

I feel woozy.

I feel ill.

Because I lack

the requisite skill.

To handle people

that I don’t know.

To put on a show.

Like I’m responsible

Like I’m a grown up,

then they’ve shown up,

and I can’t meet their eye,

and I feel like

I’m gonna die.

I’m letting my neurosis

get the better of me,

bordering on psychosis.

They’re freaked out by me.

Drink some chamomile tea,

and stop thinking

about ‘me, me, me’.

For five seconds,

get out your head,

and take a breath,

stop being deaf

to what others are wanting

and needing.

They don’t need you

hyperventilating

in the corner.

Clammy and sweating,

like you’re in a sauna.

Grow the fuck up

For fuck’s sake,

don’t let trust in you

become a mistake.

Because you can’t

handle people

that you don’t know.

Take a breath.

Take it slow.

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